


Bared and Defeated

by icshly



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Body Hair, Body Image, Bottom Derek Hale, Hand Jobs, Humiliation, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Rape/Non-con Elements, Shaving, Verbal Abuse, Warning: Kate Argent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-01
Updated: 2018-06-02
Packaged: 2019-04-16 20:50:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14173125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icshly/pseuds/icshly
Summary: The first time Derek shaved his body he was crying. The dark, coarse hair fell from his chest and gathered in the drain with his tears. The sobs made his hands quiver as he got rid of all his disgusting fur. The day before was the first time Derek had taken off his cloth in front of Kate Argent, the love of his life.





	1. Chapter 1

The first time Derek shaved his body he was crying. The dark, coarse hair fell from his chest and gathered in the drain with his tears. He tried to be quiet, Laura had a hard time falling asleep and sometimes she lay awake during the night listening to all the little sounds from the Hale house. The sobs made Derek’s hands quiver as he got rid of all his disgusting fur. 

The day before was the first time Derek had taken off his cloth in front of Kate Argent, the love of his life. She had been laying there, her smooth skin only covered by red lace, and she told him to get naked. Derek was shy under her scrutiny; he pulled off his shirt and stiffly crossed his arms like a shield in front of his body. He felt bared, ripped open like a fresh wound. 

“Take it all off.” And he had. He pulled down his jeans and clumsily stepped out of them. Then he stilled in front of her. 

“Keep going.” Kate’s voice was hard and commending and Derek felt completely powerless. He undressed slowly, wanting to keep his last piece of clothing on as long as possible. When he was completely naked Kate let her gaze sweep from his feet and up. She stopped at his thighs and cock. It swelled under her gaze and the foreskin pulled back slightly. She frowned and kept going, looking at Derek’s flat stomach and defined pecs all covered in dark hair. 

Derek was breathing fast; he hoped she would say something and break the deafening silence. Anything would be better than standing all exposed like this. 

“Kate, please…”   
“Come to bed Derek.”

He lay down on his back and Kate leaned over him. She kissed him and grabbed his cock, hard. Derek gasped and moaned and pressed himself against her. 

“You look like an  _ animal  _ Derek. A hairy and dirty animal. You got fur all over you, like the little dog you are. And that disgustingly ugly foreskin, but we can’t do much about that can we? I guess I should be grateful you don’t have a knot.” As Derek turned away his head from here Kate began to stroke him hard and fast. He came in her hands but he felt no pleasure only a burning shame in his chest. 

“Next time” Kate whispered, “I want you to shave.”

Derek stepped out from the shower and looked himself in the foggy mirror. His skin was irritated and red but it faded quickly. He was smooth and soft but inside of him the wolf was whimpering, kicked and humiliated. When Derek laid down in his bed he pressed his face against the pillow to quiet his sobs. He would never be able to please Kate like this. Never. Derek didn’t hear Laura listening in the dark. 

*

Derek continued to shave years after Kate. Every inhuman, animalistic hair was being removed again and again. Every time he got naked in front of somebody he could feel her disgusted gaze. Every time somebody touched him Derek closed himself off more and more. Who could ever want somebody like him? A animal, an abomination that got his entire family killed. And for what? For believing that he could be loved when he was this broken. Laura could still hear him cry at night and she felt just as powerless as before. 

*

Derek returned to Beacon Hills. The years passed, some wounds healed and others were added. But some are deep, scabrous and easy to scratch open. He stopped shaving and sometimes he was standing in front of the mirror looking at himself. He could only do it until he started to see himself from  _ her  _ eyes. 

*

The first time Stiles laid down all naked in Derek’s bed Derek was still wearing his thumb hole sweater. They kissed, hot breaths against warm necks. Stiles touch was so soft, so careful, like he knew how close Derek was to breaking. Stiles burrowed his hands in Derek’s hair, caressed his ears, kissed his forehead. And Derek was shivering in Stiles arms. 

Stiles touched the soft fabric of Derek’s shirt. “Derek, can I..? 

Derek kissed him and removed Stiles fingers from his stomach. “I want you Stiles.” Stiles groaned and fell face first against Derek’s collarbone. He stiffened when he felt Stiles nose touch the hair sticking out from the collar of his sweater.

“You smell so good. I can’t get enough of you.” Derek closed his eyes and swallowed hard, his throat was aching. He lay underneath Stiles and looked at his freckles, how his eyelashes cast shadows on his cheeks, the slightly dry skin on his lips. 

Derek put his hand against Stiles neck; he let himself be calmed by Stiles steadily beating heart and the rhythm of his breath.  


“Take your clothes off.” Derek whispered. While Stiles did as he was told Derek slowly removed his jeans and underwear, he kept the sweater. Stiles pressed small kisses along Derek’s throat, he bit down lightly on the curve between neck and shoulder. Derek groaned when Stiles took a hold of his cock and stroked him slowly.

“How do you want to do this?” Stiles asked with a soft voice and his thumb rubbing over Derek’s foreskin. Derek answered by spreading his legs and caging Stiles between his thighs. Stiles smiled and caressed the smooth skin on his inner thighs.

When Derek felt Stiles inside him, around him it was as if something broke free. And when Stiles met his gaze Derek could feel it, he could feel his eyes turning red. He tensed and put his arm over his face. 

“Keep going.” He said when he felt Stiles still his movements. But it was hard to talk around the sharp edges of his fangs.    
“Derek?”   
“Keep. Going.”    
Stiles kissed Derek’s clenched fist. “What is it?” Derek clenched his jaw as hard as he could and muttered through his teeth.    
“Keep going or move Stiles.”   
“What the hell Derek.”    
“ _ Move _ .”

When Stiles didn’t react quickly enough Derek pushed him aside and sat up at the edge of the bed. His back was bent and his head hung so deep that it almost touched his knees. He was breathing fast and slightly irregular and it felt like he couldn’t get enough air. Derek felt Stiles warm hands over the tattoo between his shoulders and the dam burst. He sobbed and bent down even deeper, defeated.    
  
“I’m sorry Stiles, I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to… I didn’t want it to be like this. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m really sorry.” Stiles stood up and Derek couldn’t hold anything back. Stiles would go, he was going to leave him and he would never want to look at Derek ever again. Disgusting, dumb, uncontrolled Derek. The piece that never fit. But Stiles sunk to his knees in front of Derek and took his hands.   
  
“Derek, look at me.” Derek shook his head but he didn’t pull away. He pulled up his chin and met Derek’s still red eyes.    
  
“I don’t know what just happened but it’s not something you have to apologize for.” Stiles wiped a few tears away from Derek’s cheeks. “ I love you, Derek Hale.  _ Everything  _ that you are.” And right at that moment, for just a few seconds, Derek believed him. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn’t planning to add to this story but after a couple of comments asking me if I would I felt inspired. Like it got pointed out, is it really finished if Derek doesn’t move past his issues somehow? This didn’t turn out like I planned, (who am I kidding, I genuinely had no plan when I wrote this) Derek hasn’t healed at the end of this, but he’s taking the first steps towards self acceptance. I know from experience it’s a daily struggle and it takes years to work on yourself enough to feel better and I had absolutely no idea how to write about that process. I hope you enjoy yourself anyway.

The only thing harder than being naked in front of others is being naked in front of yourself. To be totally honest with yourself is one of the most difficult things you can do. Derek was standing in front of a full length mirror. The blinds where down and the door was locked, he had even put a note on the front door telling all visitors to get lost.

Derek took a deep breath and looked at himself in the mirror. He was wearing grey sweatpants at least one size too big and a t-shirt washed so many times the print had been worn down. His hair was tousled and felt like wool on the left side where it had rubbed against his pillow. He hadn’t shaved for a week. Derek bent his naked toes against the wooden floor, trying to ground himself. He grabbed the hem of his t-shirt and pulled it over his head. He threw it to the side and stepped out of his sweatpants. He stood there, naked, and he took the time to really look at himself.

He saw the coarse hair covering his chest, his arms, his stomach, his legs. He touched his beard with his hands, felt it scratch slightly against his palms. It felt good. He looked at his cock that was soft between his thighs, the foreskin wrinkled around the tip. For a moment he could feel HER tugging at him, pinching him, asking if he really was clean. Derek swallowed and closed his eyes. He remembered the pleasure he had given to himself and to Stiles and he knew she wasn’t important anymore. She had no more power over him.

Derek concentrated until he could feel the subtle changes of the shift. When he opened his eyes they were red, his wolfed out face looked back at him. His first instinct was to turn away and do anything other than to look at himself like this. He steeled himself and kept his gaze firmly at the mirror. While his body hadn’t changed much his face looked very different. It was a face associated with violence, fear, desperation and pain. It was a face he hadn’t loved in a long time.

The first thing that drew his eyes was his forehead. It had pulled itself together and created deep, angry looking creases in his skin. His nose was wider and it pointed down toward his mouth where big fangs poked out between his lips. He touched one with his thumb and pressed down. Instantly the skin tore and a drop of blood ran down his finger. Derek put it in his mouth but the wound had healed when he tasted his own blood.

Derek looked at his pointy ears and then held his hands in front of his face to look at his sharp claws. At first he saw weapons with only one purpose, to cause pain and death. After a closer look he saw tools that on multiple occasions had saved his life and the lives of his pack, his friends. And then there was his eyes. Derek stepped closer to the mirror to get a closer look. To his surprise his eyes looked soft and not all that different from before he wolfed out. He could see himself in them, both the good and the bad. Derek reached out and touched the cold glass that showed the reflection of his face, not the face of a disgusting, dangerous animal. He felt a tear against his cheek and when he wiped it away he was smiling.

He took a few steps back when he heard someone walking up the stairs towards the loft. That someone stumbled and swore loudly and Derek recognized that voice, that scent. Stiles. Derek opened the front door before Stiles even had the time to knock. Derek was standing there, naked in all his wolfy glory. He didn’t want to hide, he didn’t want to run. Not anymore.

It was the first time he stood in front of Stiles this was, naked both physically and mentally. Stiles who usually had something to say didn’t need to utter a single word. He stepped in to Derek’s arms and they held each other for a long moment that didn’t seem to end. Derek didn’t want it to.

“Derek.” Stiles mumbled as he kissed Derek’s pointy ear. “Thank you.”  Derek held Stiles closer, like a lifeline, like the anchor he was. Then he slowly let go and he saw tears on Stiles face. He wiped them away carefully so he wouldn’t touch Stiles with his claws.

“Let’s go inside. I just remembered I’m naked. And a werewolf.” Stiles snorted and lightly smacked Derek’s chest. When Derek closed the door behind them this was just the first steps, a beginning.

The thing is when you hate yourself for years, when you have been broken by others and by yourself, you can’t get fixed by someone calling you beautiful. It doesn’t matter how much you believe they mean it if you don’t accept yourself. Derek can’t get over how something can be so cheesy, so true and so absolutely heartbreakingly sad at the same time. He wished it was simple, like Stiles seeing him naked and wolfed out a couple of times would fix him. But not that or werewolf healing would do the job for him. It would take work. Years worth if of it. But he was ready now, ready to finally heal.

 


End file.
